Gotta be something more

I was excited to get a job. Thought I would feel more self worth, getting up and going to go do something a few times a week. Actually earning a paycheck instead of collecting unemployment. I was honestly jazzed (yes, I say jazzed) about how much money I would be making again. Bartending paid my way through college. Yup, graduated with no loans - and even paid my own way to backpack through Europe for 3 months.

So, I went through Dave & Buster's boot camp. It wasn't too bad. It's mostly corporate decorum. Wear this, say this, this is our policy on this, etc. I was enjoying the structure. I've worked several non-corporate places where I have previously been so frustrated with their lack of organization I leave, or tolerate because the money is so good but secretly hate everyone and everything about the place. The hardest part about the training was memorizing all the house drink recipes. And to be honest, I still don't know them all. Fifty drinks are a ton to memorize, especially when you're not making them all, all the time. There's that ONE drink that I haven't made yet, that will be ordered 3 months down the road that I'll have to look up.

Back to being jazzed about the potential money. I was excited because this meant maybe I wouldn't be living with my parents much longer. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the free rent and we get along 99% of the time, but living with my parents at age 25 wasn't where I wanted to be in life.

And neither is bartending at Dave & Buster's. I like everyone I work with. The management is all very nice and understanding. Most everyone I've met and that I work with there has been ultra cool and fun getting to know --- but man, I'm so disappointed with the money. This past Saturday I worked 15 hours and made $94. It's so frustrating to truely enjoy a place and the people and not be able to justify working there because you can't afford to!

I feel very far behind right now. I'm not where I want to be living or working. I can't say I'm satisfied with my dating/love life. And I'm a little scared I'm not going to be able to get back into the design market. I feel like it's going to be harder and harder to justify not being employed with a career-related position the longer it stays this way.

I'm sure I'm in the same boat as millions of people dealing with the economic strains, but knowing I'm in the same boat doesn't make me feel any better about where the tide is taking us.